Before I even begin to 'blog' as it was, please let me apologise for the length of this blog which may be considerable!

I finally got back last night from Egypt!!! And it was amazing!!

I arrived at about 3pm on Sunday last week, fell immediately asleep from the flight (and WOW Swiss Air, def my new fav airline....and that has nothing to do with the swicc choc I promise). I was joining a tour group and met some of them and the guide later that night before more sleep! Next day was when the fun began!

Up early for breakfast....a bit of a mixed bag there of nice and inedible. Then it was off to the Egyptian Museum. Some of the stuff there is just amazing! Almost everything from King Tutenkahmens tomb is there and most of it gold encrusted. I swear they threw nothing away ever, way back when he was king...there were old socks and slippers and even (strangely was he only came into power at 10 years old) a linen condom. I saw his famous death mask and also paid extra to go into the mummy room. It was very very very creepy. It was Royal mummies and they were all lying in kind of glass coffins....most of them didnt look like they had been dead all those thousands of years! Creepy creepy.

After that we drove out to the Giza plateau to see the Pyramids!! Words cant describe these, they are just amazing! Our group, only 8 people by the way, took millions of pics.

From there it was back to el-crappola hotel for a swim and rest before our train journey that night, we were all getting to know each other at this stage and luckily everyone was really really nice! We all met up on the hotels rooftop restaurant to have something to eat and managed a shisha as well....so nice and chiled for the train then!

I dont have much to say about the train other than we got on at 9pm on Monday and arrived at 12pm Tuesday.......15 hours overnight, 1000kms, toilets that drop everything directly onto the tracks......and its best left at that.

Once we got off in Aswan it was clear that it was hotter than Cairo! About 38 degrees apparently! We all had a rush lunch and then headed out on the Nile for a little sail about to our Camel riding destination! That was freaky freaky, much bumpier than I thought! We also then visited a Nubian village and had a look in one of their houses....very primative but very welcoming and nice! Our guide then took us to a local school and taught us a bit about the arabic alpahbet and how to write out names etc.....was very plesant to get out of the heat! Our guide then took us to a local market where we could buy all kinds of stuff, at the expense of getting hassled like mad...I had 3 marriage offers in an hour and kept getting "nice eyes" comments....so sems like Egyptian men arent any more original than any others!!

Nexy day was a trip to Abu Simbel....I would love to tell you how great it was but my room-mate Megan and I got sick with "Egypt Belly" and spent the day popping Immodium, only getting up for some Uno playing on the top deck at about 7pm!

So, a day lost, next day was very full. We went to Kom-Ombo temple at 7am which was nice but not as nice as others we would see later. Back to the boat for breakfast it was BOILING hot so naturally decided an entire day of sunbathing on the top deck was required. The breeze created by the sailing gave me a false sense of the temperature, which was about 42 later in the day! After lunch there was a stop in Edfu and we had a horse and cart ride to Edfu temple. The boy driving our cart was only 10 years old! After the temple, Megan and I bargained hard for a pair of Galibeas (those kinda long arab looking thingies that look so cool in the heat..) to wear that night on the boat where there was a disco...fairly dominated by a middle aged group from Paris, but man they liked to party! They got Megan, Bronwyn and me up doing the macarena!

Next day, Friday, another full full day! We first went to the Valley of the Kings, what a desolate location! Amazing to think they actually dug those tombs out of the rock! I went into 2 of them but they were stifling and I started to feel like I was actually being mummified. We were all like zombies walking around in the heat, it was relentless. From there we went on to Al-Deir Al-Bahari temple, the temple of Queen Hatshepsuit. It was fantastic but the hear made it quite unbearable. We did another quick stop and the Clossi of Memon, which is still being excavated, before back to the boat. It was very pleasing to be in such a small group today as we were in a minivan where as most other tourists were in big busses and looked a bit miserable.

From there we moved to a hotel in Luxor and went to Karnack temple, by far my favourite. At one part of it there was 122 columns, 23 meters high each. Some of them still had colours on them, really breathtaking. There was one more stop at Luxor temple, also nice but not as nice, before back to the hotel.

At the hotel there was almost 3 hours before out group was splitting up! Megan and I went for a bit of a walk along the street before the harassment got to much and we went back to the hotel to eat! It was really nice as the entire group came down in parts and we all had quite a good laugh at the very very flirty waiter who gave Megan the eye and all the help she wanted, and then gave me the bill....thanks.

After dinner, Bronwyn, Steven and I were off back to Cairo on the train with our guide. I didnt sleep nearly as well this time and managed to avoid the toilets fully. We left at 9pm and arrived at 6.30am, small relief then that it was less distance.

Last day in Cairo...I was not upset about that!! By far the crappiest place of all the places we visited. First stop at 9am was the Step Pyramid at Saqqara.....5000 years old! We then made a quick visit to the 'Hanging Church' which is weirdly build oversome other ruins. Also slightly notable, the roof is made to look like Noahs Arc, was quite beautiful. Our final final last stop was at the Kahn el Khallili market, I would have been freaked here if it hadnt been for Seven and Bronywn, altho we still got lost all the same! Finally finding our way out, we were back to the hotel in Cairo for a bit of a sleep! Later we met up on the hotels rooftop restaurant for a few drinks and some dinner, was really a very nice ending!

Last part of the trip was getting a crazy taxi to the airport with a random Kiwi chick I met (thankfully, as the taxi was a bit third world..) and then getting a flight back to London and then shivvering in the 11 degree heat and the rain of London...ah well!!

So, with my tan already fading I am really wishing I was back on holiday again and am really wanting to go somewhere soon! Sadly, I have no more leave owing to me so have to make do with, well, NOT going anywhere! Bah!!

People do this every week...??

6 sleeps and I am off to Egypt!! I cant really believe it! I have packed nothing!! I have done nothing!! Well thats kinda a lie...I raided primark for anything made of linen to take with me so it will be nice and light and can throw them away when I am back! Also I finally got my visa sorted...that was pretty funny...went to the Egyptian embassy and a visa is 15 quid.....the lady didnt have change of a 20 so told me to go get some.....I went out and looked at where I might get change....Louis Vuittion, Gucci, Chanel.....um change for a 20 anyone?? Had to walk for miles and finally found a chemist!

Well, what a weekend. Friday ended up falling flat but that was OK as called family for chatting and was nice to catch up a bit. Saturday I had the laziest day of my life. I told my brother I thought I was sick as I was so tired but he pointed out I was just laaaaaaaaaaazy. Thanks Neil. The weekend really came into its own on Sunday when I finally did the TNT suggestion and went to The Church.

If you dont know what I am talking about, the web is www.thechurch.co.uk and its not at all spiritual. Its kinda a bar, kinda a sleazy greasy joint!!
I didn't know what to expect so let me paint you a picture.....from the outside it looks like a dis-used hall, there are no signs or anything so you might not know otherwise. Inside its dark dark (esp as it opens at 12 so its like the middle of the day!) We got there at 1.3pm and it was already underway. There was a comedian on the stage whos repoitre seemed to be mostly getting Kiwis to slag Aussies and Aussies to slag South Africans and South Africans to slag Kiwis etc etc. Not that funny in other words. There was a heaving crowd down the front but we had quite a good possie at the bar and stayed there.
After him there was a stripper....I had heard there was so wasnt suprised. She was quite lame tho, one song of dancing and another song where she took her top off but that was it. Then was some dancing I think. I had consumed 3 vodkas by this stage, mostly as there wasnt much else to do!!
After the music and dancing the stripper came back on, and it was obviously the hardcore section of the show. She got totally naked (wasnt expecting that!!!!) rubbed herself in baby oil, sat on a chair and fondled herself on the stage, all highly visible!! I should day, I was there was 2 guys and while I couldn't watch her (blergh no thanks), they had given up all pretension of not watching and were openly panting hahaha!!
Anyway after that was drinking games, then a kind of amature stripping contest for the guys. There was maybe 6 of them and they all got as naked as they day they were born....was amusing but also slightly disturbing!! By this stage I was totally smashed....you buy your drinks in lots of 3 so had just had 6 vodkas before 3pm. Crikey.
From there was onto a pub, then another pub, then a pub lunch (yum!!) then more drinking....I went out at 1pm and got home at 10.30pm, still drunk, I got lost on the tube.
I cant believe people do that every weekend! Is it the same stripper every week?? Who knows. Do they ever have a male stripper?? Judging by the dudes there it would start some anxiety attacks among them.
You know I never thought I would go but I had a really good time!! I will be going again I think, just not every weekend!!

Baaaaaaaaaank holidays....

Well it was a bank holiday last weekend just gone and I started the partying around....Tuesday night, ending last night.

Tuesday was dinner at YO! Sushi with Alicia....kinda an anniversary dinner almost as I had arrived a year ago (cake went down fab at work by the way!). Was very niiiiiiice as always....even when I got a bit drunk and tried to cause a suishi dish pile up and send my empty beer bottle away on the conveyor belt (was not successful)

Wednesday night I went to see 'The Letter' at the Wyndhams Theatre. I got a FANTASTIC deal on www.lastminute.com which was dinner (at Planet Hollywood - mmmmm ribs) and then theatre for 20 quid!! 3 of us went and all thought that 'Planet Hollywood' teamed with a psychological crime thriller was a strange mix. I have to admit I was a bit dubious about the deal but the seats were just brilliant.....and only the second night the play was open as well (I felt very grown up going to see that rather than a musical!)

Thursday night was dinner again with 2 old mated from Contiki....one of whom has just come back from Australia. Was totally brilliant to see them and I could have chatted all night but my wallet would not allow it.

Friday I caught a plane to Edinburgh to see my cousin and stay for the rest of the bank weekend!!! I was soooooooo excited to arrive and see her as I hadn't see Nicola properly since Christmas! We drank and caught up on Friday night before I almost fell asleep on the spot and collapsed into bed. When we finally got up and got ready on Saturday there was only one place to go......the Edinburgh Dungeons!!! I loved loved the London one and the Edinburgh one was kinda as good, but really not. It was about half the price and prob half the fun as well. Best bit was one of the characters taking a kind of a 'shine' to me and pretending to dry hump me (Nicola nearly cried laughing), threw a blanket at me and told me to "Smell it Skank". Little did I know it would be one of the best offers I had all weekend......

Saturday night I had especially purchased a very expensive top from Oasis for maximum fun times and I feel it was slightly wasted in Edinburgh.....let me explain...Nicola and I went to 3 very very different clubs. We started at the Walkabout (I am collecting the set...) which was OK to rubbish. From there we moved to Espionage, 3 floors of clubbing which was also OK to average. I forget the name of the last club but it was one of the last open and cost 6 quid to get in.....was bah bah. In every club we went to, they played Dolly Parton "Nine to Five". I kid you not. They like their Dolly in Edinburgh. There was also about a million hen and stag nights there.....you could tell them from their various states of dress up. I have to be honest here and say most of them were English, could be told apart from the dressed up Scottish guys as there were in kilts (clubbing!!!!)

Anyway after a hellish recovery on Sunday morning, we went to see 'Blades of Glory' in the afternoon. Was hysterical (and incidentally, discovered one of the lines used on me the night before was from the movie...). After the movie we decided to tear up the dancefloor, virtually by ourselves, at the Walkabout. Was very very funny, especially when the mlleted DJ played 'Nine to Five' again, closely followed by 'Jolene'.....I suspect by request.....like I say, they like their Dolly up there.

Monday we went to the castle....Nicola and I have a cousin in the Army who does a lot of work there and tried to blag free entry but he wasnt about so had to pay, but was very reasonable, especially compared to London prices! I have been there before and was amazed at how much I remembered of it, but was still brilliant to see again.

Was back to the airport after that and it was very sad!! Am definetly planning another weekend soon.....maybe work some other clubs and see Nicola again!

This week I am most definetly out of cash so am going to try and keep it on the down low....especially as I am already in plans for the weeked....going for drinks on Friday, flat-warming on Saturday and am finally biting the bullet and am going to visit "The Church" on Sunday, unless I can get out of it! Then one more week before the Klaxons and Egypt!!

12 Happy Months!

Well I thought it only prudent to post when my ticker bar has finally reached 12 months here in the UK!! How exciting!! Cake for everyone tomorrow at work (sorry if your reading this remotely)

So, a 12 month round-up then: (in the fashion of Bridget Jones)

Countries Visited - 15

• France
• Spain
• Italy
• Germany
• Switzerland
• Austria
• Croatia
• Czech Republic
• Hungary
• Holland
• Vatican City (OK stretching here....might as well count...)
• Monaco (OK a princapality but I count it!)
• Belgium
• Slovenia
• Liechtenstein
• And in transit......Bonsnia
• Which also does not include Scotland and Ireland and the Chanel Islands-yay Guernsey!(and obviously England)

Stamps in Passport - (2)

• Bosnia x 2 (have to drive through it to get to the bottom of Croatia)

Money Earnt

• Say 11000 pounds (on off working, and hard to say without my P60)

Money Saved

• 0 pounds

Money Spent

• 10998 pounds

Approximate percentage of money earnt spent on rent in London

• 35%

Random Pashes

• approximately 25-35

Approximate percentage of Random Pashes that were casualties of the walkabout

• 80%

Random snogs who became freakish stalkers

• 3

Visitors to England who slept on my floor or in my bed (with ME on the floor) (4)

• Neil
• Andrea
• Nicola
• Laura

Favourite place in England visited so far

• Newquay or maybe Guernsey

Favourite place overall

• Glasgow

Celebrities Spotted (2)

• Louis from 'X Factor' coming out of Harrods
• that skinny girl from Hollyoaks shopping on Oxford Street

'Best Buy' in London

• Harrods Earl Grey Tea....about 1 pound a bag but comes individually wrapped and says London on it....

Most amount of money spent in PRIMARK in one session (73 pounds)

• Work skirt
• Denim skirt
• t shirts x 3
• jumpers x 3
• cardigan
• neclaces x 4
• belt x 2
• shoes x 2
• bag
• tights x 2
• jacket
• gloves
• hat

Favourite new shop (thus abandoning Glassons)

• H&M...could it be any cheaper!! (well yes sometimes)

Most number of Snakebites consumed in one sitting

• 8 (and thus I dont drink them anymore)

Biggest mis-conceptions about London now abolished (3)

• The weather is crappy all the time - its not bad at all!! Barely ever rains which is a mojor improvement on Auckland anyway
• That I will be earning loads and loads or money - yeah if you convert it!! and not forgetting it costs more to live here than just about anywhere else!
• People are rude and unfriendly - no more than anywhere else and every time I have needed help people have fallen over themselved to give me a hand (lugging my suitcases up the stairs at tube stations for instance)

Thing I miss most about home

• Not being able to go to the beach on the weekend....but thats more as I dont have a car here......I also miss Pineapple Lumps

Replacement soaps for Shortland Street

• Hollyoaks.....soooooooooo trashy

Strangest tourist moments

• Trying to say "thank you for the lovely meal" in German in a pub full of old men and getting a round of applause and a free postcard.
• Realising with horror that the smutty, filthy conversation I was having in English was being perfectly understood (and avidly listened to) in Munich
• Seeing King Stephens mummified holy right hand at St Stephens Basilica in Budapest from 1038. Just. plain. strange.
• Amsterdam

Best Tourist Attractions

• Eiffel Tower - at dusk was super beautiful. Would have been super romantic also had I not been with my brother
• The London Dungeon - it is FANTASTIC!!!! SO much so I permanantly advertise for them with the mug on my desk
• Plitvice Lakes National Park in Croatia - I know I am from NZ and should have some loyalty but this was really the most beautiful place I have ever been to in my life

I dont know what else to say other than this past year has been one of the most exciting and fulfilling of my life.....roll on the next 12 months with hopefully as much travel and fun as the last 12!