Sexual Feelings..

Does it make me sexist against myself to have felt afraid when I realised my pilot coming back from London was a woman??
I dont know but to me a pilot is one of those jobs that is done by a man. I feel the same about doctors and lawyers, fireman and police. I think I am sexist....certainly not a feminist. I am not saying woman CAN'T do those jobs, I just feel better if they dont. Well, thats not really true, I dont mind woman doctors, police and lawyers. Not fireman, leave me one fantasy intact please.

In saying this, I wasnt at all keen on the pilot that took me to London in the first place.
I was flying Aurigny, which is the channel islands airline. After hearing the obligitory welcome onboard that the captain gives (usually useless information about cruising speed and altitude etc), which was a plesantly soothing english accent, this staticy announcement came over the sound system in what could only have been described as a thick russian accent saying 'Fliught crue seats for takeovf' I was not comforted. Particularly when I got back to London and discovered I had inadvertently managed to smuggle some liquid on board. I nearly died when I found the lipstick in my bag but then security obviously never cared so why should I??! Actually, my discomfort began long before that. Like when we landed at Gatwick. The pilot never really slowed down so at the end of the runway we turned and pulled up to the gate with a screech not unlike a formula one car. I thought I was going to die.

Otherwise I have had a most pleasant weekend. I spent it in London with my couins so was good to talk to someone who has known me for longer than 5 minutes, as seems to be with all my transient travelling friends. Also, I had been feeling a bit down lately, but getting back to London puts it all in perspective...there are tons of people there more loser-y than me so it was a small boost. Also, you only have to read the 'desparately seeking' page of the TNT to know you are not the biggest looser on the planet...those people are.

At the moment I am trying to decide where to go on holiday next. I had more or less decided to go on a tour through Croatia and Hungary and ending in London. I had all but booked and then I read the small print. You had to do a lot of helping out on the tour and it was also in tents. Now I have a fantasy that I am a bit of an earth mother type but I am not. I get angry if it rains and my shoes get wet so the small home comforts that are absent in a tent, such as being able to stand when dressing, are paramount to the level of enjoyment I will get on a holiday. needless to say that tour is no longer the top contender. I dont want to dismiss it totally though as it would be an experience, in patience if nothing else. Otherwise I pretty much dont know where to go. Its a combination of lack of money and time that make the choice so difficult. I seriously fancy a skiing or snowboarding one but I cant do either of those things so unfortunately thats a no go. I thought maybe an England and Ireland one but its not totally the best weather to be doing that....I would prefer to wait till summer. Of course, if I get a job I wont be going anywhere.

As for the capsule lifestyle I mentioned in the last entry, I still can only dream about it. To me a capsule lifestyle is one where you merrily skip though life with just the barest of essentials. You have maybe a small purse or a wallet and thats it. Nothing it too hard for you as you dont have a sack of 'essentials' to carry with you. I am not this person. I will never be this person. Apart from a small bag fetish, I seem to always be carrying stuff wherever I go. It seriously pisses me off. I dont know wha I need all this stuff, only that I do. This isnt one of those tales of woe where the woman carries around her life in her handbag, oh no. I dont even have a brush in mine, its just all brochures, phamplets, umbrella, sunglasses, glasses, wallet, phone, ID, keys etc etc. HOWEVER, I have almost mastered the capsule lifestyle ideal that I strive for. Its because I live 22 steps from work (I counted them) so if I need something I just go home and get it. Its only a small start but I am happy with it. My hands are free to browse (if there was anything in Guernsey worth browsing) and if I fall over nothing scatters (this is by far the best reward). I hope this doesnt mean I always have to live this close to work. It only works here as I cant actually see my department from my room. I like to imagine I could be anywhere.