Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Channeling good times...

Well things are looking up! I managed to score a job in the Channel Islands and I have almost mastered the capsule lifestyle I strive for! Bless!

Firstly, my job agency called me at the eleventh hour to offer me 2 different jobs. The first he said "...is in London but I dont want to lie to you, you are looking at an hour and a half travel each way every day." OK I thought, better than no job. "..And the other is in Guernsey!!!". Now I wont lie, I didnt have the first clue where Guernsey was. He was already continuing "they fly you out there, pay for almost all of your rent, its an all new nurses hostel....." blah blah blah. All I really heard was that they flew me out there so it mush be somewhere exotic, as obviously there are no airports in dull places (that is not true for Palmerston North, I think they have an airport, and so does Hamilton.) I jumped at the Guernsey one and then looked it up on the net. Well I first discovered that is was one of the Channel Islands (had only heard of Jersey before) and that is was mega close to France. Infact, asking some people at work, they had me convinced that it would be just like being IN France, while obviously being in the UK. Kinda. I was sooooooo pleased I got the job, even though its for 8 weeks only.

Things have been drama from the word go. I flinished work on Friday and flew out on the Sunday and started here on the Monday! But the drama began on Sunday.

After I finished packing, I decided to curse my way to the airport via the tube (even thought the bus would have been waaaaaaaay easier I realised at the tube stop). I got to Victoria and got a ticket to Gatwick heaps cheaper than I thought as I have a young persons card! Oh hooray for clinging to youth! The train was in 10 minutes so caught that no bother. Now, I wish I could be like Posh, Colleen, Cameron and the like, but I am not. I am not glamarous enough for airline travel. I first went to the wrong terminal (mistaking BE for BA). Wouldn't be so bad if you were in Auckland and you just walk the 10 steps back the way but you have to catch a train between tham at Gatwick. Embarrassing.
I then checked in and they guy said to me (probably as I was about 4 hours early) "just keep your eyes on the departure screens". No problemo. I then messed about the shops...bought a few mags and a book (un-necessary, the flight is only 40 minutes) and then had dinner etc etc till I decided to go through customs and to the gate. It was 7pm. My flight was at 7.45. The gate closed at 7.35. I got to customs and the line was out the door!! I was in a bit of a panic so tried to pick the fastest moving line, only to find that once you are behind the screens the 4 lines mrege into one. I got through the bag x-ray at 7.37 and looked at the board to see my flight flashing GATE CLOSING. I nearly died!! Apart from the fact I never paid for the flight, it was the last one of the day. I ran all the way to the gate, which was naturally, as you would expect, miles away. I arrived a sweaty, panting mess. Only to find, the bastards hadnt even started boarding yet!!! I managed to catch my breath before they did.
On the plane things were not getting better. I was seated at the window near the wings. For some reason, the overhead lockers here are smaller than all the others on the plane. I choose to ignore that though and held up everyone trying to get on as I vainly tried to force my bag into the overhead. It hadnt clicked that the bag was much bigger than that space, which which could have fitted a paperback at most. I threw my bag down in dispair (did I mention I am seated near the front so the whole plane can see me??) Someone kindly suggested putting it at my feet but as I had exceeded the 1 piece of handluggage rule that was not possible.
I made my way up to the front of the plane to tell the air hostess. Yes, I forced my way against the tide of people trying to be seated, bag in my hand. She told me to take it down the back and they would sort it out later. So I did just that, only to be told to put it anywhere I liked. So it was 9 rows back from me.
Anywho, we stopped in Jersey first as we had som Jersey passengers on board. Was good as we were flying so low I could see everything, not that I knew what antything was. After they Jersey people got off, they had to check all the handluggage to amke sure no one had left anything on (like a bomb presumably). They went though and called out the coulour of the bags that were in the overhead lockers. You guessed it, seeing as mine was 9 rows back from me, I missed them calling it out and as a result they were about to eject it from the plane and quite possible detonate it. Luckily I managed to jump up in my seat and yell that it was mine.

Honestly, Guernsey is not a big place and I am sure my reputation is 'nutter' already.

Anyway, after all that I am too exhausted to relive my capsule lifestyle capturing so will leave that for next time.

Au revoir!

1 comment:

Matt said...

Haha funny story!!

Yeah BA are crap as, I read recently that 3/4 of all BA flights do not leave on time. I caught BA on the flight to Geneva for the All Whites/Brazil game and we were parked on spare tarmac for about 20 minutes before we could take off. Useless.

Have fun on the island!